greaselightning

If you feel my characterization of Cronus is off in any way, feel free to tell me here! Please keep this to constructive critique. Anon enabled, screening on, IP logging off.

PLAYER INFORMATION
Name: Zorn
Timezone: CST
Personal Journal: zornsable
Player Contact: Zornsable for everything.
Characters in Game (previously too): n/a

CHARACTER INFORMATION
Name: Cronus Ampora
Canon: Homestuck
Gender: Male
Age: 9 sweeps(but really like infinity years. He's been around for a long time yo)
Suitability: N/A
Species: Troll(Beforan)
Canon Point: Right after Meenah talks to him the last time.
World/Setting: n/a

Personality: Cronus is a lot of things, at first appearance, he does one bang up job of coming across as nice and somewhat pathetic, and to some extent this isn’t inaccurate--the pathetic part, at least. Cronus is the type of guy who thinks if he acts nice enough, he will get what he wants. This much is really demonstrated in the briefness we were allowed to see of his character. When conversing with Meenah, he’s trying his hardest to come across as some nice, progressive guy who doesn’t give the slightest of shits about the hemospectrum, but at the same time, he’s using this "fact", a word I use very loosely,, to give himself pats on the back, to otherwise BRAG about himself. As if that would do him a lot of good to Meenah. He doesn’t seem to grasp that telling the girl you want to get with that it would be a privilege for anyone to date him because he’s SUCH A GOOD GUY, isn’t actually all that impressive. It’s actually really self-centered, arrogant, and off putting like all get out.

Which brings me to my next point about him! Cronus is selfish to a fault. To the point he really just seems to lack all amounts of empathy entirely. This is highly supported by his outstanding ability to not understand what people want after millions of years of being dead. You’d think he’d clue in on this, but nope he still just doesn’t get it, because he’s obviously too wrapped up in himself to actually look at what he’s doing wrong. Which is another thing, he’s pretty quick to shift the blame, or at least deflect whatever blame is on him and just bring up something else someone has done wrong. Case and point: Meenah in regards to Mituna. She calls him out on being a complete asshat to the poor guy, and he just deflects it cuz her Alternate Universe version of herself used him as a ship battery and that is waaaaay worse!!! Which, honestly I think I’d rather be talked down to than turned into that, but it still doesn’t change the fact he avoided blame by trying to make Meenah feel bad. AND THAT IS THE KIND OF GUY CRONUS IS. Classy sort of fellow, ain’t he?

Along with the rest of these charming features, the guy is KINDA a creep, to put it simply. However a horrifically inept one. Despite his touching Mituna’s shoulder, and completely ignoring Mituna’s discomfort, or how he was quite obviously trying to obtain some form of control in his "grilling" of Mituna, which only happened because he wanted to blow off some steam, he actually is too much of a coward to actually do anything. Forever the creep status, never quite the sexual offender, despite popular belief, it seems. He’s had millions of years to do something that would place him on the neighborhood watch list, and yet he hasn’t. Quite possibly because, while he doesn’t get what people want, he is smart enough to know that crossing a certain line will definitely get his ass excommunicated from the rest, we just don’t know exactly. Whatever it may be, despite all his creeper notions, he hasn’t quite done the full creeper yet. Which is pretty important fact to bring up, honestly. The fact he does have some sort of leash: his want for interactions with others.

There’s also a few more things to mention about this inept dingdong, like the fact he thinks he’s a humankin, a 50‘s style human Greaser to be exact. Now, I say "think", because from what evidence we have of this massive tool, this could very easily be a ruse to get attention, much like how he goes on about being a sensitive artist to gain pity points and all. When he actually doubted himself, which gives the impression that he honestly convinces himself that these ruses are real, which is pretty damn sad, Kankri was quick to tell him that his identity dysphoria was a very real thing, and that him doubting himself is normal and if he really DIDN’T think he was a humankin, it would be oh so triggering to those who DO have that sort of identity. In other words, Kankri is probably Cronus’ only real friend, and that’s because he enables the shit outta Cronus’ horrid behavior. Seriously, talk about the horrible helping the horrible.

Before he did his whole humankin thing, he fashioned himself as a wizard, back when he was still alive anyways. He has two scars on his forehead, which he claims he got from an evil wizard at a young age, a very heavy Harry Potter vs Voldemort reference, as true with nearly all Amporas. He was certain he was a wizard destined to defeat a great evil! And that through his scar-gaining experience, he had banished this great evil(Lord English) for a period of time and prevented the dastardly villain from doing his evil deeds! Or that’s what he tells everyone, we don’t actually know the truth, seeing as Cronus is an unreliable narrator. However, he did eventually give up on this destiny, speculated that he was talked out of it, and gave up on magic entirely. Which is kinda sad, but who cares because Cronus is pretty awful anyways.

Getting back on tack, Cronus also does such classy things as "attempting" fake suicide to get pity points, which he admits doesn’t work, especially since he’s already dead... But this is just another thing to throw on the steaming pile of shitty things Cronus does. His absolute motivation is to lose his virginity, and it’s really obvious how his repeated failure seems to make him bitter, this bitterness all directed at Mituna of course, since everyone else he’s trying to win over. Though, apparently he does hold some contempt for the rest of them, mentioning his list of truly terrible people, based on the fact they rejected him.

Despite all his rejections, Cronus seems to think that something is wrong with everyone else, and that he isn’t necessarily doing anything wrong. That everyone else just wants someone broken, but he’s just far too good for their tastes. Thinking they put him on some form of a pedestal, which is laughable at best. Even before they died, Cronus seemed to have this kind of habit, seeing as Meenah refers to him as still being The Bard of Tries Too Hard. So really, if anything, he isn’t about to change his ways any time soon. Especially not when he tells a mentally disabled troll that his personality disorder is just a ruse to get girls to like him. To put this all simply, Cronus is pretty terrible, kinda harmless in comparison to some of the other characters in Homestuck; especially since he’s gone the route of a pacifist, but he is STILL a grade A douchebag.

Abilities/Weaknesses: Cronus probably has some hope powers, but we have really no idea what they are or how they work, so for the most part, Cronus isn't anything special beyond his natural immunity to most psychic attacks (sans Aranea's overpowered bullshit). Other than that, he's a pretty alright gunsman, having Ahab crosshairs as his now weapon of choice (not that he has it with him, mind you), so he's actually pretty skilled as a fighter, but he's chosen to be a pacifist, so all of that is wasted anyways. In short, he's really nothing all that special.

RP Samples:

1st person: HERE

3rd person (obviously after the link above):

It really was best he got the hell away from that crazy human as fast as possible. Sure, he could tell the guy had some serious issues even before he tried to cut his bulge off... But it seemed so promising. That's some real hatred, like shit that trolls could only dream of in a kismesis. Sure, the guy was kinda old looking, but Cronus knew humans didn't have the type of life span trolls did so it was none too surprising. But man would they look hot hate-fucking. Though, he must admit, it's really hard picturing that guy anywhere near his bulge now without some sort of fear rising within him.

He was fairly convinced he was traumatized.

He supposed he shouldn't be too surprised. Not because of the obvious, but because other people just seemed to have this weird ideal with him, like he wasn't lowly enough for their standards. And while this guy didn't know him well enough to place him on any such pedestal, he was far too used to the vehement rejection that he was always gifted with. It was like a slap to the face really, even if it was one he encountered daily. If anything, that just made it sting more with each new slap.

What was the point of being this hot and this perfect if he couldn't even get laid? Honestly, he knew it was no fault of his own, that he was far beyond the tastes of others, like feeding a peasant food for a king, it would be sensory overload and it was just... really unfortunate for him. Others just needed to learn to acquire some taste.

Once he found himself somewhere more safe and secluded, he can't help but look down at his crotch, idly wiping at the blood that was still dripping from his nose. His shirt was basically ruined by now, stained with his violet blood. God, what a jackass.

It was ridiculous how that guy wanted to just chop it off like that... And keep it in the a jar? Talk about sick and twisted. He was glad to know not all humans were complete freaks like that guy, but maybe that was part of the appeal to him. Either way, he got away with his pride in tact, even if he had to run away like a coward. Better that than to lose his bulge before properly being able to use it. Who knows, maybe he would be able to convince that guy to not try to maim him in some way and to use such strong feelings in a way that would benefit them both.

They are both sexy as hell, even if that guy was pretty old looking, and who in their right sponge would deny that? Of course, those people who find themselves on his list of terrible and awful people who reject him--but he hardly considers their opinions valid ones. Maybe if he just tried a little harder, he could get that guy to change which "sword" he wanted to use on Cronus... Maybe.

Oh well, he could dream, at least.